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Archive for June, 2007

Swear Words

Monday, June 25th, 2007

Is it just me or are ’swears’ easier to learn than any other words in the English language. Think about it:
-if you come across a toddler who just knows a few dozen words, I bet one of them is a profanity
-an immigrant may not know how to string a proper sentence together, but he’ll sure as hell know how to curse you out!

What exactly is a profanity? A profanity is a word that has an original meaning, (which may change across time and language), which in itself may give some cause for offence. Additionally, many profanities will have applied meanings of their own, usually associated to their context and which therefore may vary significantly depending upon the intended purpose of the word in the sentence.

For example; fcuk, a profanity in English, has come to be a verb for the sexual act and may be used literally in this sense - “I fcuked that bitch”, but also in the context of an exclamation, “Fcuk, he’s clever!”, as part of a derogatory remark - “Fcuk off!”, to refer to acts of violence - “I’ll fcuk you up!” or to simply add weight to a sentence - “This is fcuking interesting!”.

Now having said that, every action has an equal and opposite reaction…enter the ’swear jar’. Checkout the video.

Robin Williams - How Golf Was Invented

Sunday, June 24th, 2007

If you have followed golf to any extent, you must be aware that golf was invented by the Scottish. However according to funny-man Robin Williams, it was a Scotsman drunk on scotch! So pour yourself a glass and relax to this video.

Somebody actually had sex with Scary Spice…

Friday, June 22nd, 2007

…it was Eddie Murphy and now he’s refusing to take a paternity test.

I guess the answer is pretty obvious to all. Eddie probably knew that he was Angel’s father and didn’t want to ‘tarnish ‘ his image in the public eye. But his stand of not taking the test has somewhat sullied his image more so.

And now that he has been undoubtedly proven the father of Melanie B’s baby by a DNA test, he can’t weasel out of it.
Murphy dumped Mel B when she was four months pregnant by heartlessly telling a Dutch television interviewer that it was presumptuous to assume the baby was his. Moreover, he was with Tracey Edmonds at the same time and Mel got to know she was dumped from friends who saw the interview.

eddie murphy and mel b aka scary spice baby

Of course like Mel knew, women always know who their child’s father is; she was in no doubt whatsoever. But even then Eddie was forced to take the test by his girlfriend who went on to say that “If Scary is having Murphy’s baby as determined by paternity test that he’ll take responsibility.”

I never thought Eddie would have to hide behind a woman’s skirt to admit responsibility! But there you are.
Eddie has reportedly not even seen his daughter. Not that Mel needs the money, but she had to take this step to pay Eddie back for the public humiliation he put her through. In all this, I feel sorry for the child who is going to know this entire messy affair about her.

The ironic twist to the whole matter is Angel Iris Murphy Brown was born to Brown, 32, on April 3 which incidentally is Murphy’s birthday too.

Escaped Convict

Thursday, June 21st, 2007

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

The power of the human mind…

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. Thephaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at CmabrigdeUinervtisy, it dseno\’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olnyiproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. Therset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs isbcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as awlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

if you canraed tihs snd it to a fiernd by ciclk the ‘Eamil Tihs Psot’ lnik aobve.

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