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Archive for June, 2007

Stripperella gets ambitious

Thursday, June 28th, 2007

Pamela Anderson is paying tribute to her Finnish heritage. The former Baywatch beauty is opening a chain of strip clubs and call them LAPLAND, (also the name of the area in Finland from where her ancestors hail).

The 40-year-old was in Finland to propagate animal rights but hit upon this idea while in Finland taking saunas and celebrating her Scandinavian heritage. Lapland is not actually a country in itself, but is in fact made up of regions in Northern Finland, Sweden and Norway, above the Arctic Circle. The language commonly used in Lapland is Finnish. Lapland is traditionally the home of nomadic reindeer herders and of course Lapland’s most famous resident - Santa Claus!

Now most men would shy away from going to a joint that showcases 40 year old strippers but that probably wouldn’t be the case if it were Pamela Anderson taking her clothes off.

Baywatch Beauty Pamela Anderson at the beach in white bikini

What horror movies are made of…

Wednesday, June 27th, 2007

A horror can be defined as a fictional product designed to evoke terror through the implied presence of supernatural or grossly abnormal forces and furnishings. Why do we enjoy them? Do we enjoy sitting in a dark movie theatre with sweaty palms? Or could it be the feeling of your heart skipping a beat every time the movie climaxes?

Whatever your reason is, horror movies are no longer considered ‘B movies’. They are mainstream and the genre has even made its way to TV commercials. Check it out.

Buying Wedding Vows

Wednesday, June 27th, 2007

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

“Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.”

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes,” then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: “I thought we had a deal.”

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”

Free Paris!

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

A jubilant Paris Hilton walked to freedom after 23 days on early Tuesday morning. Waving to a crowd of 200 strong paparazzi Paris looked more than happy. She looked ecstatic. Though Paris has lost more than 10 pounds in prison her attitude and smiles more than covered any weight loss. The crowd went wild on seeing Paris walk to her parents’ SUV and get in after giving her Mom a great big hug. I do wonder about all the people waiting to see Paris leave. They must have nothing better to do than wait outside a county jail at 12.10am in the morning.

When asked for a quote Paris said, “I am great – thank you all for you support.”

Paris had changed into street clothes before getting out of the jail building. Her life altering sentence finally at an end, Paris must be relieved to be checking back into Casa de Hilton.

Sex…the next exercise craze!

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

If you thought sex was just for pleasure think again. Here I have a teaser to sex as an effective weight loss tool.

How many calories do we burn during sex?

The diet literature explains calories burned while jogging, playing tennis or golfing, but similar information concerning sexual activity has, until now, been unavailable.

Yet, a survey of 206,000,000 people indicated that 96% devote more time and effort to sex than jogging, tennis, or golf, and I felt that the time was right for a new type of sex manual.


1 hr. intensive foreplay Burns Off:
1 slice (large) chocolate cake.

25 min. nonstop lovemaking Burns Off:
2 slices of pizza with cheese & mushrooms.

53 min. of kissing partner Burns Off:
1 cheeseburger with 14 french fries.

53 minutes of “kissing yourself” burns Off: Christmas turkey with all the trimmings.

So get ready for some intense lovemaking sessions!!!!

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