Online Dating

Archive for May, 2007

Nicole Ritchie - Unsexy to the Limit

Thursday, May 31st, 2007

I must say Nicole Richie reminds me of the children from Ethiopia who have reed thin bodies and swollen tummies. Their distended tummies are due to the extreme hunger they face….what is Nicole’s excuse? To top it off, the glamour girl who keeps company with showbiz hot bodies and is a television actress, has an ultimate death wish in fashion.

Whatever Nicole is trying to prove, it definitely isn’t working for her image. There is absolutely nothing a guy would go for in Nicole based on looks….unless it’s mind ‘blowing’ sex…..which also I highly doubt. I mean almost no hair, grayish pallor to skin, zero curves, pre-teen breasts. Girl, you need to get your life and body back on track.

Nicole Ritchie with Lindsay Lohan looking VERY skinny

And for all of you who think I’m being a very mean person, talking negativly about someone’s physical short comings and that maybe she has a ‘good personality’. Wrong! Nicole Ritchie is surprisingly cold hearted considering she looks like a baby dinosaur. Her adopted mama is in hospital due to a hysterectomy but Nicole Ritchie has no time to visit her. What is it about these tarts and their mothers? First Britney and now Nicole……makes me wonder about their psyche complexes. As I read somewhere….Hollywood is filled with retards!!

Before and After Marriage

Wednesday, May 30th, 2007

Before Marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She:Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She:Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

After Marriage:

Just read from the bottom up.

The English Language

Tuesday, May 29th, 2007

Let’s face it - English is a crazy language:

1. In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
2. Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
3. Why is it that when we transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
4. Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?
5. In what other language do thay call the third hand on the clock the second hand?
6. Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?
7. Why - in our crazy language - can your nose run and your feet smell?

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should becommitted to an asylum for the verbally insane:

1. If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?
2. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?
3. A writer is someone who writes and a stinger is something that stings. But fingers don’t fing and grocers don’t groce.
4. If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?
5. If the teacher taught, why isn’t it also true that the preacher praught?
6. If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?

English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can’t turn a light in; in which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down. In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car can slow up and slow down, in which you can fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible?; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?

Poor Misunderstood Lindsay Lohan

Monday, May 28th, 2007

Following in the footsteps of her ‘guru’ Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan has been arrested for DUI, (driving under the influence). However Miss Lohan has outdone Miss Hilton and also added possession of cocaine to the list of charges! Lindsay Lohan was driving in Beverly Hills early Saturday Morning, (May 26, 2007), with two others in her Benz when she lost control of the car and struck the curb & a few trees.

Lindsay Lohan DUI and cocaine charges

After the crash, being the responsible citizen she is, Lindsay remained on the scene until authorities arrived. While no one else was hurt, the irony is that Lindsay Lohan suffering minor injuries to her large breasts in the irresponsible incident, (for those who weren’t aware, it has been reported that she has implants).

Lindsay’s arrest brought her acting career and personal life to a new low. This latest incident makes Lindsay Lohan the black sheep of Hollywood actresses, (if she was not already). Reportedly, insiders say no one will be willing to get Lindsay insured to work on a film as she’s too much of a risk. And to totally rain on her parade, Svedka Vodka - who were going to sponsor a big chunk of her birthday celebrations have pulled out their support. It is anybody’s guess whether her bash will happen at all, (her DOB is July 2, 1986).

As you may already know, I normally don’t have any sympathy for the Hollywood types, but seriously get your sh!t together! IT would probably have been easier to drive blindfolded than it is to be drunk and high on cocaine!

I want to work for Google…

Monday, May 28th, 2007

I want to work for Google. Why you ask? Seems to mee that working for Google pays you in more than just money. Google is a $150 billion company, (that is NINE zeros), and was setup by two Stanford PhD students. Google became one of the biggest internet success stories in just four years. The VP of Google confesses ‘there are a lot of geeks in Google and it is a wonderful place for geeks to interact with each other’.

Still not convinced? Read the ‘Geek benefits’ below then watch the video clip from the Oprah Winfrey show:
1. 11 different cuisine cafeterias serving gourmet food
2. state of the art gymnasium
3. lap pool
4. facilities for various other games
5. foreign language classes
6. massage parlor
7. hair salon
8. taking your dog to work
9. laundry & dry cleaning facilities
10. concierge service
11. doctor check-up
12. day care
13. dental clean-up
14. competitive salaries
15. company stock purchase options

Definitely sounds like they are giving out their resume for perks they offer to candidates. Google receives an amazing number of 1300 resumes each day. As a service provider, Google believes in instant gratification, (kinda like your date putting out on the first date).

E-mail It
Socialized through Gregarious 42