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Archive for March, 2007

The Sixth Sense…

Saturday, March 24th, 2007

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying
“God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.”

The father asked, “Why did you say good-bye grandpa?”

The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.”

The next day the grandmother died. Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, “God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.”

He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said “I’ve never seen you work so late, what’s the matter?”

He said “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”

She said “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning our neighbour James dropped dead on our porch.”

Secret to a Happy Marriage

Friday, March 23rd, 2007

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. “What a peaceful & loving couple!” A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the man.

“We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘That’s once’.”

“We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again.

Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’

“We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time.

My wife quietly removed revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

“I started an angry protest over her treatment to the horse, while I was shouting; She looked at me, and quietly said, ‘That’s once’. ”

“And we lived happily ever after.”

Unlock Your Car with a Tennis Ball

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007

If you are a car thief, please DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO and navigate away from this site immediatley.

For the rest of us, here’s a great tip if you ever lock your keys in your car. I tried it last night and it worked for me, (wasn’t as easy as the version in the video..but it worked none the less).

And if you are a thief who decided watch the above video anyways, here’s what can happen to you if you steal a bait car!

Commerical - DHL

Tuesday, March 20th, 2007

After watching the movie, Castaway starring Tom Hanks, I became a diehard FedEx fan. However after watching this DHL commerical, I’m reconsidering keeping my Federal Express account!

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Have you ever sent an ‘interesting’ package to anyone? If so, leave me a comment and let me know! Please keep it ‘relatively’ clean becasue this is a family show, (not really but keep it clean anyways).

Casting for an Anna Nicole Smith Movie?

Monday, March 19th, 2007

It’s only a matter of time that a movie on the life of Anna Nicole Smith is made. TMZ, (Thirty Mile Zone), a celeb gossip publication, recently decided to help out potential movie producers cast for the role.

Who do you think would fit to play Anna? Here’s the short list:

Casting for the role of Anna Nicole Smith, Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, Tori Spelling
(clockwise from top right: Anna Nicole Smith, Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, Tori Spelling)

1. Pamela Anderson - Like Anna Nicole Smith, Pamela has posed in Playboy Magazine, has hugely augmented breasts, and is a complete airhead. Pam’s acting skills are sub-par however nobody should notice as she IS playing Anna Nicole after all.

2. Jenny McCarthy - Jenny also has a Playboy Magazine spread under her hat however her ‘money makers’ have a little less in the bank, (for all of you who are not understanding my innuendos…she has smaller boobies).

3. Tori Spelling - The ugly duckling of the trio, Tori Spelling only has one thing going for her. Like Anna Nicole Smith, Tori too is in in the middle of a nasty inheritance battle. Tori and her month Candy, are fighting over the millions belonging to her late father, Aaron Spelling who passed on in June 2006.

Here are also a few suggestions for supporting actors!

For the role of Howard K. Stern, (Anna’s manager, lawyer, and supposed significant other):

Casting for the role of Howard Stern, David Schwimmer
David Schwimmer

For the role of Larry Birkhead, (supposed father of Anna’s daughter):

Casting for the role of Larry Birkhead, Nick Carter
Nick Carter


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