Online Dating

Archive for March, 2007

All Brits are Weird…

Saturday, March 31st, 2007

Okay, not all Brits are weird…but this family is completely bonkers! Can you imagine breast feeding your children till they are five and eight?!? I have fond memories trading lunches with my classmates in grade school. Who would ever want to trade their sandwich for little Suzie’s lunch!

Can you say emotionally scaring? There should be a law…shouldn’t there?

Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater!

Friday, March 30th, 2007

I use VOIP (Voice Over Internet Protocol) and video conferencing to chat with friends and colleagues on a regular basis. Saves me a ton of $$$. For those who aren’t familiar with these types of services, you can use programs like Yahoo Chat, Google Talk, and Skype to talk to people around the world who have internet access for free.

Checkout the hilarious spoof on online chatting below then read my comments:

Is online cheating a side effect of the internet age? Do you know of anyone who has been cheated on by a partner who met someone online? The high penetration of internet access has made it easier to cheat. Mind you, I’m not promoting the fore mentioned activity only mentioning a fact.

I firmly believe that you should trust your partner. If you don’t trust him/her…there is no reason for you to be together. If you still feel that you need to assure yourself that they are or aren’t cheating? Get some internet monitoring software like SpectorSoft, (www.spectorsoft.com).

50 Rules Women Wish Men Would Learn

Thursday, March 29th, 2007

All you people out there in a relationship need to do me a quick favor…PLEASE tell me that all the rules below aren’t true! I’ve had fantasies that involve of #3, #8, and #39 promptly followed by a #38!

1. Call
2. Don’t lie
3. Never tape any of her body parts together
4. If guys night out is going to be fun, invite the girls
5. If guys night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting
6. The correct answer to Do I look fat?” is never, ever “Yes”.
7. Ditto for “ Is she prettier than me?”
8. Victoria’s Secret is good. Frederick’s of Hollywood is bad
9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad

10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
11. “Honey”, “Darling”, and “Sweetheart” are good. “Nag”, “Lardass” and “Bitch” are bad
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.
15. Her cooking is excellent.
16. That isn’t an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
17. Dish soap is your friend.
18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap and warm does not equal clean.
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
20. Answering “Who was that on the phone?” with “Nobody” is never going to end that conversation.

21. Ditto for “Whose lipstick is this?”
22. Two words: clean socks.
23. Believe it or not, you’re probably not more attractive when you are drunk.
24. Burping is not sexy.
25. You’re wrong.
26. You’re sorry.
27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is.
28. Ditto for your discourse on football.
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound.
30. “Will you marry me?” is good. “Let’s shack up together” is bad.
31. Don’t assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
32. Don’t assume PMS doesn’t exist.
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything that she feels at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
34. “But, we kiss……” is not a justification for using her toothbrush. You don’t clean plaque with your tongue.
35. Never let her walk alone after 11p.m.
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.
37. Pick her up at the airport. Don’t whine about it, just do it.
38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don’t act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.
39. Don’t tell her you love her if you don’t.
40. Tell her if you love her. Often.

41. Always, always suck up to her brother/ sister.
42. Think boxers.
43. Silk boxers.
44. Simply accept Valentine’s Day and any cheesy “anniversary” she so-names.
45. Don’t try to change the way she dresses.
46. Her haircut is never bad.
47. Don’t let your friends pick on her.
48. Call.
49. Don’t lie.
50. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your ass smoking cigars isn’t fair either. And it balances everything.

Online Dating is for Losers…

Tuesday, March 27th, 2007

bride kissing bride's maid

…or is it?

It was not long ago that people generally met their future spouses when they were in high school. Then college or university education became mandatory and people began putting off marriage until later… and later… and later. In 2007, it is not uncommon for people to wait until their late 20s or early 30s to get married. Unfortunately for those who wait, it is harder to meet people now that they aren’t going to keggers, toga parties, etc. These activities have been replaced with working late to climbing the corporate ladder, developing a taste for once boring activities like golf and tai chi, etc. Enter online dating.

Who’s your daddy?

Online dating is no longer for losers. The internet is the daddy of all singles bars minus the loud music and drunk people, (unless you are in front of your keyboard with the music cranked and an empty bottle of vodka). Beats your mom setting you up with someone with a ‘great personality’!

Caution! Danger Ahead!

Be careful…a lot of wackos out there! Setup a separate email address for your online dating needs and only use your first name. If you do decide to meet up, do so in a public place.

Devil in Church

Tuesday, March 27th, 2007

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church.

Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving… seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”

The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

Satan asked, “Aren’t you afraid of me?”

“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”

The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”


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