Online Dating

Archive for the 'Rants & Raves' Category

Bad Customer Service Award

Wednesday, May 9th, 2007

Nothing ‘irks’ me like bad customer service.

My morning routine is quite simple: I go to a franchise coffee & donut establishment on my way to work and pickup a cup of joe via drive-thru. This morning, I had a realization…companies are more interested in getting you in and out that they don’t care about service! McDonalds used to have a item on their menu board that said, ‘Smiles are free.’ I haven’t been into McDonalds for a VERY long time…do they still have it? Or did they remove it because ‘free’ doesn’t make money?

Leave me a comment if you see or don’t see it on the menu any more.

McDonald's Employees Pledging Allegiance

Have you been ignored, left waiting on an automated phone service, looking in vain for sales help in a store or am I the only one? Are you frustrated of the poor service that you have received in spite of the adage, “Customer is king”? More often than not, they make me feel like they are doing me a favor by selling me their product or service!

In a recent poll by MSN Money Central, which is putting out a list of “The Customer Service Hall of Shame”, people have been asked to vote on the company that offers the worst customer service. And the winner (or should I say loser) is….

Sprint Nextel – one of the world’s largest wireless carriers - has “sprinted” to the top of this non-coveted list. There are customers who have not received their bills and some who have extraordinarily high bills. Some customers say that telling Sprint once is not enough – they have to give reminders after a suitable amount of time. Well, now isn’t that a shame?!? And there are some pollsters who say “I could write a book about my problems”. Looks like Sprint Nextel has got some catching up to do.

Some of the other companies who have to pull up their socks in the service department include: Bank of America, Comcast, AT&T, Wal-Mart to name a few. And it is a sad world, when most of these companies spend an obscene amount on advertising, they don’t keep their existing consumers with a smile on their face.
And that’s not all!! The ironic part of the poll is that customers who are unhappy with the service cannot even change it. This is a fact that the companies are aware of.

Firing your bank is not an easy task, (due to checks, automatic deposits/debits, etc.). Similarly for your wireless service, cable or internet provider; they get you to sign a LONG contract with big promises only to under deliver. So I guess the bottom line to this poll is that - whether your company has made it to the Hall of Shame or not, the customer has to just grin and bear it!!

SEX 101 - 10 Things You Should Know

Monday, April 30th, 2007

Sex, people say, is the best thing that happened to mankind. Whether it is good sex or bad sex, it is better than no sex. Here are 10 things you should know about sex.

1. How about a quickie?
Who says that a lovemaking session can go on for an hour or more? The typical lovemaking session lasts around 15 minutes. And around 70% of that is foreplay.

2. Like they do it on AnimalPlanet.
Humans aren’t the only species that have sex for fun. Dolphins and the bonobo, (a type of chimpanzee), do it too.

3. Do they make a pill for that?
Erectile dysfunction has become a household phrase thanks to Viagra however it only affects 10-12% of the population while premature ejaculation affects 24-27%! They should make a pill for that!

4. Turn up the heat.
Having sex in a hot room may make orgasms more intense! The Degree of vasocongestion aka “sex flush”, (reddening or darkening of the skin), is an indication of how intense an orgasm may be is more common in warmer temperatures.

5. It’s no accident.
Trying to have a baby? If a woman experiences an orgasm, she is more likely to get pregnant, (since the spasms in her pelvic muscles help move sperm up to the uterus). So guys if you don’t want your girlfriend getting pregnant…make sure she never has an orgasm. However that may also result in you never getting sex again.

6. A gay ol’time at the zoo.
Homosexuality is not unique to humans. Birds do it. So do beetles, sheep, bats, orangutans, and dolphins. I guess that would make the dolphin the only other species that has homosexual sex for fun.

7. What do you have planned today?
1 in 17 people will have sex today…that’s a total of 400,000,000 people around the world. I know I should have bought shares in Trojan Condoms while their Magnum was still mini.

8. Ahh…sweet releif!
Leave aspirin on the night stand next time you have a headache and have sex instead. Sexual intercourse releases endorphins into your bloodstream giving us pleasure and pain relief.

9. Your grandparents probably still have sex…
Not a pleasant thought…but it’s true! 73% of males are still potent at age 70 and 30% of women at age 80+ still have sex. More men than women? Is that why you see ex-stripper, Playboy playmate, diet pill spokes model women married to oil tycoons?

10. Mr. Big
70% of women would rather eat chocolate than have sex. And is it any wonder? Maybe it’s because you won’t get arrested if you have chocolate in public.

Website Down. Website Up. Website Down.

Thursday, April 19th, 2007

And hopefully website up now for a long while.

Being the ‘economical’ person I am, I had opted to have a buddy host my blog. And since the only other thing he was hosting on the server was his grandmother’s ‘Dancing Jesus’ website, he wasn’t to concerned with security. And what happened? Some ‘unfearing hacker’, (those are granny’s words), took advantage of the lack of security updates. Now I’ve decided to fork out some cash and get the site hosted since we have some semi-regular readers now. And since I’ve done the homework, I thought I’d fill you in on what I looked for in a host, (and since I’m not as geeky as I’d like to be…it’s all in layman’s terms):

1. Reliability - If you have a site, make sure it stays up!

2. Speed - Faster is better; most people don’t stick arround to watch a page load. Have you noticed my page loading faster? :)

3. Security - Uh…duh. Especially if you are hosting databases etc.

4. Customer Service - If you can’t talk to a live person before you set up your account, you probably won’t be able to speak to them after you have setup an account

Now I would love to elaborate on the above…but I’m really bored of talking about hosting after two days of being hostless. So I’d rather just show you a funny picture:

computer hacker bully

50 Rules Women Wish Men Would Learn

Thursday, March 29th, 2007

All you people out there in a relationship need to do me a quick favor…PLEASE tell me that all the rules below aren’t true! I’ve had fantasies that involve of #3, #8, and #39 promptly followed by a #38!

1. Call
2. Don’t lie
3. Never tape any of her body parts together
4. If guys night out is going to be fun, invite the girls
5. If guys night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting
6. The correct answer to Do I look fat?” is never, ever “Yes”.
7. Ditto for “ Is she prettier than me?”
8. Victoria’s Secret is good. Frederick’s of Hollywood is bad
9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad

10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
11. “Honey”, “Darling”, and “Sweetheart” are good. “Nag”, “Lardass” and “Bitch” are bad
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.
15. Her cooking is excellent.
16. That isn’t an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
17. Dish soap is your friend.
18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap and warm does not equal clean.
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
20. Answering “Who was that on the phone?” with “Nobody” is never going to end that conversation.

21. Ditto for “Whose lipstick is this?”
22. Two words: clean socks.
23. Believe it or not, you’re probably not more attractive when you are drunk.
24. Burping is not sexy.
25. You’re wrong.
26. You’re sorry.
27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is.
28. Ditto for your discourse on football.
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound.
30. “Will you marry me?” is good. “Let’s shack up together” is bad.
31. Don’t assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
32. Don’t assume PMS doesn’t exist.
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything that she feels at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
34. “But, we kiss……” is not a justification for using her toothbrush. You don’t clean plaque with your tongue.
35. Never let her walk alone after 11p.m.
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.
37. Pick her up at the airport. Don’t whine about it, just do it.
38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don’t act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.
39. Don’t tell her you love her if you don’t.
40. Tell her if you love her. Often.

41. Always, always suck up to her brother/ sister.
42. Think boxers.
43. Silk boxers.
44. Simply accept Valentine’s Day and any cheesy “anniversary” she so-names.
45. Don’t try to change the way she dresses.
46. Her haircut is never bad.
47. Don’t let your friends pick on her.
48. Call.
49. Don’t lie.
50. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your ass smoking cigars isn’t fair either. And it balances everything.

Online Dating is for Losers…

Tuesday, March 27th, 2007

bride kissing bride's maid

…or is it?

It was not long ago that people generally met their future spouses when they were in high school. Then college or university education became mandatory and people began putting off marriage until later… and later… and later. In 2007, it is not uncommon for people to wait until their late 20s or early 30s to get married. Unfortunately for those who wait, it is harder to meet people now that they aren’t going to keggers, toga parties, etc. These activities have been replaced with working late to climbing the corporate ladder, developing a taste for once boring activities like golf and tai chi, etc. Enter online dating.

Who’s your daddy?

Online dating is no longer for losers. The internet is the daddy of all singles bars minus the loud music and drunk people, (unless you are in front of your keyboard with the music cranked and an empty bottle of vodka). Beats your mom setting you up with someone with a ‘great personality’!

Caution! Danger Ahead!

Be careful…a lot of wackos out there! Setup a separate email address for your online dating needs and only use your first name. If you do decide to meet up, do so in a public place.

E-mail It
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