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Archive for the 'Tips and Tricks' Category

SEX 101 - 10 Things You Should Know

Monday, April 30th, 2007

Sex, people say, is the best thing that happened to mankind. Whether it is good sex or bad sex, it is better than no sex. Here are 10 things you should know about sex.

1. How about a quickie?
Who says that a lovemaking session can go on for an hour or more? The typical lovemaking session lasts around 15 minutes. And around 70% of that is foreplay.

2. Like they do it on AnimalPlanet.
Humans aren’t the only species that have sex for fun. Dolphins and the bonobo, (a type of chimpanzee), do it too.

3. Do they make a pill for that?
Erectile dysfunction has become a household phrase thanks to Viagra however it only affects 10-12% of the population while premature ejaculation affects 24-27%! They should make a pill for that!

4. Turn up the heat.
Having sex in a hot room may make orgasms more intense! The Degree of vasocongestion aka “sex flush”, (reddening or darkening of the skin), is an indication of how intense an orgasm may be is more common in warmer temperatures.

5. It’s no accident.
Trying to have a baby? If a woman experiences an orgasm, she is more likely to get pregnant, (since the spasms in her pelvic muscles help move sperm up to the uterus). So guys if you don’t want your girlfriend getting pregnant…make sure she never has an orgasm. However that may also result in you never getting sex again.

6. A gay ol’time at the zoo.
Homosexuality is not unique to humans. Birds do it. So do beetles, sheep, bats, orangutans, and dolphins. I guess that would make the dolphin the only other species that has homosexual sex for fun.

7. What do you have planned today?
1 in 17 people will have sex today…that’s a total of 400,000,000 people around the world. I know I should have bought shares in Trojan Condoms while their Magnum was still mini.

8. Ahh…sweet releif!
Leave aspirin on the night stand next time you have a headache and have sex instead. Sexual intercourse releases endorphins into your bloodstream giving us pleasure and pain relief.

9. Your grandparents probably still have sex…
Not a pleasant thought…but it’s true! 73% of males are still potent at age 70 and 30% of women at age 80+ still have sex. More men than women? Is that why you see ex-stripper, Playboy playmate, diet pill spokes model women married to oil tycoons?

10. Mr. Big
70% of women would rather eat chocolate than have sex. And is it any wonder? Maybe it’s because you won’t get arrested if you have chocolate in public.

Website Down. Website Up. Website Down.

Thursday, April 19th, 2007

And hopefully website up now for a long while.

Being the ‘economical’ person I am, I had opted to have a buddy host my blog. And since the only other thing he was hosting on the server was his grandmother’s ‘Dancing Jesus’ website, he wasn’t to concerned with security. And what happened? Some ‘unfearing hacker’, (those are granny’s words), took advantage of the lack of security updates. Now I’ve decided to fork out some cash and get the site hosted since we have some semi-regular readers now. And since I’ve done the homework, I thought I’d fill you in on what I looked for in a host, (and since I’m not as geeky as I’d like to be…it’s all in layman’s terms):

1. Reliability - If you have a site, make sure it stays up!

2. Speed - Faster is better; most people don’t stick arround to watch a page load. Have you noticed my page loading faster? :)

3. Security - Uh…duh. Especially if you are hosting databases etc.

4. Customer Service - If you can’t talk to a live person before you set up your account, you probably won’t be able to speak to them after you have setup an account

Now I would love to elaborate on the above…but I’m really bored of talking about hosting after two days of being hostless. So I’d rather just show you a funny picture:

computer hacker bully

Fight Traffic Tickets…How to Increase Chance of Winning

Sunday, April 8th, 2007

Got a speeding ticket? The first thing you should always do is NOT PLEAD GUILTY, (even if you are guilty as hell), and ask for a court date. You can usually do this in person at the court house or via phone, mail, internet (just check the back of your ticket for information on how to dispute a ticket). Since most of our readership is not located in France, we are not under Napoleonic law so we are innocent until proven guilty.

Once you get your court date, delay the proceedings by getting as many continuances as you can. Continuances are fairly easy to get and valid reasons include - you are going to be out to town, have an urgent doctors appointment that cannot be rescheduled, you are sick, you cannot get the day off work etc. Be creative and use other excuses if you like, (be sure to leave them in my comments). The more continuances you get, the better chance you have of getting your fine dismissed, (because as time passes, the greater chance that the officer who ticketed you won’t be at the hearing).

So don’t just pay your traffic tickets…dispute and get continuances instead!

Unlock Your Car with a Tennis Ball

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007

If you are a car thief, please DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO and navigate away from this site immediatley.

For the rest of us, here’s a great tip if you ever lock your keys in your car. I tried it last night and it worked for me, (wasn’t as easy as the version in the video..but it worked none the less).

And if you are a thief who decided watch the above video anyways, here’s what can happen to you if you steal a bait car!

Readvancable Mortgage - An Idiot’s Guide

Wednesday, March 14th, 2007

Normally I like to steer clear from posts of the serious nature; browse the rest of the site if you don’t know what I’m referring to. But all bets are off when I can help the little guy, (you and I), stick it to the man, (big banks in this case).

I recently heard about a ‘readvancable mortgage’ on the radio, (it’s amazing the types of commercials you’ll hear while listening to shock radio). I brought the concept to my accountant, he consulted with his team, told me it was possible, and sent me a HUGE bill. If you want to save a few bones on your home mortgage…keep reading below.

Let’s say you have a $200,000 mortgage at 7% interest over 25 years. If this is a readvancable mortgage, you pay down the principal with your monthly payments and you would immediately be readvanced that amount to be invested in stocks, bonds or other real estate.

Since the amount readvanced back to you is for investment purposes, the interest on it is tax deductible. Basically a free loan.

You are splitting the mortgage into two parts: as the principal on one side is lowered, the the principal on the other side goes up, keeping the total principal outstanding at $200,000.

The tax savings initially won’t be considerably high however as time goes by, so does your interest on money for investing purposes.

Do all banks provide a readvanceable mortgage? No..but there should be one in your area! If you find one…leave a comment for me below and let me know so I can post it here!

So go ahead and buy another house or two! Make sure you invite me to your house warming party!

The system is known as the Smith Maneuver and was developed by Fraser Smith. See his website for more information, smithman dot net. Check with a professional financial planner before following any advice provided above.

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